Doubt

Today was the first time I have questioned what I am doing, if I am capable, and I don’t like it.

I got to sleep in, 6:00. I took the kids to school and went to work until noon. By 12:30 I was changed and ready to run. The plan called for a 30 minute run and a 75 minute ride (10 minute warm up, 4 x (12 tempo, 3 rest) and a 5 minute cool down). I felt fine on the run despite the horrible wind. Damn March Lion. But at least I was outside and not on that stupid track. I ran 3.42 miles for an 8:46 pace. Then I got on the trainer. I started out watching Flushed Away but quickly decided that I needed more of a push. I changed the CD to Spinervals No Slackers Allowed. Heck with the plan, at least it was intervals. I started out ok but quickly started slacking. I could not get my cadence up and keep it up. My legs were tired and I really started to question if I had 56 miles in me. Can I really do this thing or have I bitten off more then I can chew? The more I questioned myself the less push I had. By the end of the DVD, my cadence was so low the pedals were almost not turning. I hate this self doubt and hope it goes away soon.
After the mediocre ride, I picked the kids up from school, said good bye to the “vice” (student) teacher, and came home to lie on the couch trying to nap with the kids playing/fighting. The napping thing went about as well as the ride. Tomorrow is a rest day and I hope that come long run Sunday this doubt is GONE.